Author: Harvey Hyman

Carl Rogers used unconditional positive regard (UPR) as a pillar of his psychotherapeutic approach. Rogers defined UPR as caring for the client as a separate person entitled to have his own feeling and experiences. For Rogers UPR was a way of non-judgmentally accepting and valuing the client as a human being without allowing the therapist’s… Continue reading A New Twist on Rogers’ Unconditional Positive Regard

Clients with chronic generalized anxiety have frequent episodes of fight/flight in which they experience nervousness; increased heart rate, blood pressure, perspiration, and muscle tension; dizziness; suppression of T cells with reduction of the immune response to infection; a shutdown of the digestive system that may manifest in stomach pain, nausea, and vomiting; and a shutdown… Continue reading A Breath Practice to Reduce Anxiety and Increase Calm

We live in a society that greatly values personal growth and development. Here are some examples. First, ever since Maslow coined the term self-actualization in 1943 there has been an ever-increasing surge of interest in it among therapists and clients. Second, virtually every time I counsel a client who is dissatisfied with and about to… Continue reading Unrecognized Growing Pains of the Evolving Self

Childhood is when we form our self-image, our coping mechanisms to survive within our family of origin, and what I call our prime directive which is the organizing purpose of our lives. Adler and other psychological theorists have asserted that middle children who are sandwiched between the responsible/authoritarian older child and the spoiled youngest child… Continue reading Why Some People Take on the Burdensome Thankless Role of Family Peacemaker

In Arthur Miller’s brilliant 1949 tragedy the traveling salesman Willy Loman works his heart out, stresses himself to the max, and becomes not just bone weary but disillusioned, hopeless, and suicidal. From my clinical experience I know that when you have a Willy Loman for a father it makes a huge impact to watch him… Continue reading Overcoming the Willy Loman Syndrome and Learning to Work Smarter Not Harder

Studies on men who batter their intimate female partners indicate they have higher rates of personality disorders, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and substance addiction than other men. One would think that these men are covered in red flag warnings to stay away, and yet in too many cases intelligent, highly educated females not only become their… Continue reading Why Do Some Intelligent, Highly Educated Women Keep Ending Up with Violent Battering Males?

Locus is on old Latin word meaning to put or place. Every human being consciously or unconsciously places control over her life inside or outside of herself. A person who perceives she is in charge of her life has an internal locus of control (ILOC). She uses goals, planning, decision making, initiative, will power, and… Continue reading What is Locus of Control and How Can It Help Struggling Clients?

It is remarkable how much anxious clients can benefit from learning about some basic Buddhist dichotomies, especially those of being/doing and striving/acceptance. To be means enjoying existence without having to become a certain person, do certain things or own certain things. There is a freedom and lightness in pure being. Beingness is not the same… Continue reading Buddhist Inspired Concepts to Reduce Anxiety and Depression

Depression, especially, and to a lesser extent anxiety, are driven by a part of the human emotional system called the inner critic in the therapeutic approach called Internal Family Systems. In some ways the inner critic resembles what Freud called the superego that judges and scolds the neurotic individual for not living up to society’s… Continue reading How to Attenuate the Power of the Harsh Inner Critic

When people grow dissatisfied or disillusioned, they often experience a strong urge to disengage and move on from a job, a place, a marriage or other form of anchorage in life. Some people are able to inhibit this urge until they have the time and resources to plan for change. Others can’t. They assume that… Continue reading Freedom without Purpose is Chaos