Some clients go through life blissfully unaware they are not using their precious time in ways that are wise, wholesome or fruitful until struck by a mid-life crisis such as a heart attack, a near-fatal car crash or a sudden episode of depression. Other clients are hyper-aware something must change, like those who grew up in a chaotic household mismanaged by parents who are mentally ill, alcoholic or violent. Waking up to the need for radical change in how one lives her life in order to reach a higher level of health, happiness, and satisfaction is a wonderful thing but also a double-edged sword. On the one hand you experience optimism that your life can be much better. On the other hand, it is common to grieve the wasted years and experience overwhelm at the tasks of learning who you really are, choosing a new path based on this knowledge, and taking steps to self-actualize. In order to paint the side of a tall building painters need a scaffolding to hold them and keep them safe while they do their work. I believe that people who have just woken up and want to grow need a scaffolding too. For them the scaffolding must include more than an individual therapist. I encourage my clients to find inspiring mentors that are accessible through the Internet. One good source is the digitized recordings on Soundstrue.com made by speakers with decades of spiritual mentorship for the journey of life change. Another source is websites like Kristen Neff’s self-compassion.org where a client can learn practices for self-forgiveness and self-compassion. Yet another resource is joining a local community group which supports the path of enlightenment and self-evolution. Some of these groups are secular while others are associated with a faith tradition. Westerners who have long studied, practiced, and taught the Tibetan Buddhist way to radical change include Jack Kornfeld and Pema Chodron. Their work can be accessed by books, digital recordings, and retreats at places like Spirit Rock in California.
