Treatment – Philosophy and Methods

My strongest desire is that you live as your authentic self.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you realized why.” Mark Twain

All treatment methods I use in therapy are intended to help you permanently release old feelings of being different, not belonging, and being in some way inadequate, incapable, inferior, defective, unworthy, or unlovable. These feelings induce people to build an emotional wall to protect themselves from the threat of experiencing shame if they are criticized or “found out.” They also lead people to assume roles and behaviors to avoid rejection by impressing or pleasing others. These roles and behaviors reduce independence, dignity, and self-esteem. They are inconsistent with the person’s true Self. The discrepancy between being your true Self and hiding behind a false one causes emotional dis-ease in forms such as depression, anxiety, co-dependency, and dysfunctional relationships. 

When you go through therapy with me, you will see yourself as you are, without the distortions of past conditioning. You will know you are valuable, precious, and worthy f existing, love, and taking your unique place in the world. You will stand tall, be authentic, and creatively bring forth your knowledge, gifts, talents, and strengths.

Being one’s true self, without all the past baggage, is the highest form of human liberation and a pre-condition to living in the present moment without the burden of past regrets or future anxieties.

Transformation occurs through courage and patience.

To help my client accomplish this remarkable transformation, we look at what goes on in the private, subjective realm of their conscious and unconscious mind and how they relate with the external environment of family, friends, community, and society. Both are very important.

You might desire to change how you see, experience, and feel about yourself. You might want to change how you communicate with and interact with others – perhaps, both. Whatever you most want to change, you will need motivation, courage, and patience because both are essential. I will be providing you with empathy, emotional support, and therapeutic guidance throughout the change process. I will ask you questions to deepen your self-understanding and answer whatever questions you have about yourself, the process or our therapeutic relationship.

My treatment philosophy

The unconscious mind, shaped primarily by childhood experience and secondarily by socio-cultural factors, has an enormous influence on self-image, mood, feelings, and behavior.

As a client you will need to explore and experience your unconscious mind and the previously unknown parts that live there. What has lain unseen in your unconscious is exactly what has caused you to feel damaged, depressed, lonely or anxious. These hidden parts of your psyche are behind your habits of self-sabotage, risk avoidance, procrastination, people pleasing, perfectionism, abuse of alcohol or drugs, self-isolation, deliberate self-harm, and reckless behavior. Once you know your inner parts, how they arose, and why they pursue the strategies that wreak havoc in your life, you are moving into a position to transform.

With my help you can use the resources of your conscious mind to rewrite your life script in a physiological, symbolic, and literal sense. These resources include goal formation, commitment to change, amplifying motivation, choosing strategies for change, and exercising willpower, courage, and persistence. They also involve experimenting with change strategies, self-monitoring, analyzing feedback, and engaging in flexible adaptation.

You will get to harness the biological neuroplasticity of your brain to rewire it to heal old trauma, erase old distorted negative images of self, and liberate your capacities for love, creativity, productivity, pleasure, joy, and meaning-making.

The forms of treatment vary.

Typically, new clients come in displaying characteristics of anxiety or depression. The anxious clients exhibit symptoms like muscle tension, worry, jitteriness, nervousness, and shallow chest breathing. Depressed clients show up tired, exhausted, pessimistic, and emotionally shut down. They tend to feel numb and cannot experience pleasure in work, socializing, hobbies, or recreation.

Both kinds of clients need to feel safe and learn how to relax their bodies and breathe more deeply. To open up, clients need to unburden the shame they have carried for years and understand that I fully and unconditionally accept them, never judge them, and want only to help in all the ways I can.

I help my clients reduce harmful, self-attacking verbiage and use self-compassionate, encouraging verbiage to shift their orientation to self and become their own ally rather than their tormentor. To help clients relax, I teach them progressive muscle relaxation and how to regulate their breathing, so it is deep, full-bellied, and maximizes oxygen intake. Exhalations are slow and extra long to activate the calming nervous system.

When clients feel safe, relaxed, and self-compassionate, I bring in three primary forms of treatment depending on the client’s particular situation: Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and Existential-Humanistic Therapy (E-H Therapy).

IFS, an advanced form of parts work, helps clients resolve intense inner conflicts that produce extremes of mood, feeling, or behavior that make clients feel out of control. IFS excels at helping clients heal their wounded inner child. This healing enables clients to permanently let go of maladaptive defense strategies they have used for a lifetime to block triggers that could rekindle the pain of old wounds.

Some clients were raised to engage in thought distortions such as making assumptions, personalizing events unrelated to them, jumping to negative conclusions, discounting the positive, catastrophizing, and engaging in all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking. Thinking with these cognitive errors is a slippery slope into depression, anxiety, or both.

CPT is an empirically validated technique that empowers people by helping them recognize and undo the cognitive distortions in their thinking. By doing so, clients can see themselves and the world accurately without feeling victimized, discouraged, or helpless.

E-H Therapy benefits clients who feel in a rut because they have lost their sense of meaning and purpose. This form of therapy poses questions that are philosophical and consciousness-expanding. It draws clients into a profound examination of why they are here; how they can most benefit others; how they can achieve genuine satisfaction from their lives; and what sort of legacy of wisdom, creativity, love, accomplishment, justice, or beneficence they wish to leave behind.

Some words of caution are in order here. While you are searching for healing you may be presented by other people with suggestions to use emerging forms of help that can cause more harm than good. One example is using Artificial Intelligence to create a “friend” to confide in and seek advice from. According to one of the world’s leading experts on AI, Dr. Stuart Russell, not only is AI far from being ready to conduct proper therapy; but it has caused extreme emotional damage to some people and pushed others to suicide. Another substitute for working with a trained, licensed therapist is coaching. While coaches can be great for increasing success in things like business, sports, and organizing your house, they are neither trained nor licensed as psychotherapists and they are not equipped to safely, effectively carry out psychotherapy. Lastly we have entered the age when psychedelics have come into increasing use as substitutes for or adjuncts to psychotherapy. Right now brilliant scientists such as Michael Mithoefer are involved with Phase 3 clinical trials for MDMA with the permission and supervision of the FDA. Dr. Mithoefer and his colleagues have developed strict protocols for MDMA assisted psychotherapy for patients with PTSD and other disorders that involve the presence of two trained therapists, preparation sessions before therapy, integration sessions after therapy, and long term follow up. These therapists are capable of expertly guiding the process and intervening in the optimal ways if the patient experiences disturbing physiological or emotional problems. None of this exists for people with PTSD or depression who take psychedelics on their own in hopes of curing themselves. Although self-experimentation with psychedelics for emotional healing sometimes works, sometimes not, and sometimes causes harm, the point is that results are unpredictable and inconsistent from person to person and it’s best not to engage it on your own.

If you’re convinced you need help and that my treatment methods can make a positive difference, contact me immediately.

The Buddha has been quoted as saying, “Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” All of us face adversities, challenges, and problems experienced as painful, but the pain becomes far worse when you remain stuck in it without a plan, hope for change, or proper help.

CALL NOW at (916) 281-9256.