Someone who lives by himself and for himself with no thought of others is like a garden slug oozing along in search of greens to nibble on so it can survive another day. Humans have an instinctive need to survive, but unlike garden slugs we are also wired to socialize and engage in acts of service to each other. This is what gives our lives context, purpose, and meaning. Depression is both a cause of and a consequence of social isolation. When a person is depressed the misery, fatigue, and apathy make it very hard to leave the bed and relate to others. And yet, so many mental health professionals urge their depressed clients to volunteer – reading to children in libraries, helping out at animal shelters or helping to bring food and clothes to the unhoused. This is a wise recommendation, and a fruitful one when adhered to. As a therapist it has become clear to me that the misery, fatigue, and loss of motivation that go with depression illustrate what happens to us when we are self-centered and pre-occupied with getting our needs and wants met as well as with what others think of us and how we stack up in society’s pecking order. When we venture out of this self-enclosed life, we stop asking whether the universe has treated us fairly and justly. Rather, we commit to acting as effective agents to promote the welfare of others, and in so doing, we reap the rewards of purpose, meaning, and healthy self-esteem.
