Emotional whiplash arises from being in a relationship with a partner who engages in a chaotic attachment style; rapid mood shifts; and frequent, confusing flip-flops in perspectives, attitudes, priorities, and decisions. Often, but not always, the erratic partner suffers from developmental PTSD, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, narcissistic personality disorder (with lots of manipulation and gaslighting) or a substance use disorder (e.g. alcoholism or meth addiction). The whiplasher mired in an emotional rollercoaster may be largely or completely oblivious to the harmful emotional disruption he is causing his partner. The whiplashed partner is split between urgently/desperately wanting out of the relationship while clinging tightly due to guilt, fear of failure, fear of being alone, co-dependence, a rescuer complex or a pathological need for maximal chaos, excitement, and stimulation in relationships. If you find yourself in such a relationship please do not deceive yourself into believing that you can help or normalize your partner or yourself by reading books, watching videos or attending a workshop. Relationships like this, characterized by extreme and uncontrollable emotional turmoil, require one thing and that is therapeutic intervention. If you find yourself in this kind of relationship, please find a therapist in your insurance provider network with the requisite skills and experience to help you process why you’re in it and why you stay despite the many sound reasons to leave.
