A microaggression is a statement or action, whether intentional or the result of unconscious bias, which signifies that someone is less worthy, less intelligent, less capable, less deserving of belonging or less something on account of her status. The status would be membership in any historically marginalized group including but not limited to people of color, female gender, LGBTQ, older age, and people with a disability. Microaggressions cause pain because they violate the dignity of the person on the receiving end. Microaggressions often occur in the context of the employment relationship which influences how the disrespected person responds. Frequently the disrespected person keeps silent in order to keep his job or position in the organization which is his sole or main source of financial support. Sometimes the disrespected person secretly files a complaint with Human Resources to alert his organization without directly confronting the offender.
Microaggressions also occur outside the employment context in schools, parks, shopping centers, stores, movie theatres, parking lots, etc. Pick up a newspaper, watch TV or scan your Internet newsfeed and you will see countless examples of cringeworthy microaggressions. Psychologically and socially, what is the ideal way to respond to a microaggression? Although it be uncomfortable and even scary, the ideal way is to respectfully point out the bigotry, prejudice or stereotyping embodied in the offender’s remark or action. Follow that up with a comment indicating that the microaggression represents unjust, unacceptable conduct that needs to stop for the good of the offended party and the good of society. You might even want to ask the offender how he would feel in your place, on the receiving end of a comment involving bigotry, prejudice or stereotyping.
While microaggressions can be triggering, because they evoke the pain of a people’s historical trauma, they are much more connected with the larger social, political, and economic history of our society than individual triggers. An individual trigger is more subjective and more closely tied to the history of an individual, his parents, and grandparents – something that Galit Atlas, PhD calls “emotional inheritance.”
When we think of individual triggers a good example would be a relational breakup perceived as abandonment that causes an adult with childhood trauma to become depressed, drink, use drugs, hurt himself or even attempt suicide. Individual triggers manage to bypass a person’s psychological defenses and cause an inner emotional storm that overwhelms the person and leads to chaotic, maladaptive behavior. While a healthy adult without significant childhood trauma might grieve a breakup and move on, the adult survivor of significant childhood trauma might binge drink to blackout, blow up her with phone with 100s of texts, spread ugly lies about her on FB or even stalk her.
Ultimately the best way to buffer and defuse triggers is to go into trauma therapy and heal the original trauma or traumas. One method I teach my clients for handling triggers involves mindful pausing, breathing, and self-talk. These three related actions quiet the amygdala (the brain’s threat alarm) and the HPA axis (the brain-body link that secretes adrenalin and cortisol for fight-flight). Mindful pausing facilitates objectivity. Mindful breathing activates the calming parasympathetic nervous system. And mindful self-talk helps put your frontal lobes back in control of the situation. In the moment you can tell yourself that the activation you are feeling comes not from the present situation, but from events that occurred to your child self in the distant past. You can then reassure your wounded inner child that you will take care of him and he will be alright. Thus, when you begin to feel triggered respond by pausing, surveying the situation objectively, seeing it is much less of a threat than your body perceives it to be, breathing deeply to activate your calming nervous system, and reassuring your wounded inner child that you, the adult, will take care of him and he is not in any real danger.
The big difference between responding to microaggressions and triggers is that in the former you stand up for yourself and people like you during an encounter with another person, whereas in the latter you are finding a way to relate to yourself when a thought, feeling or experience disturbs and activates your wounded inner child.
