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Let’s travel back to the 5th century BCE to ancient Greece. The cultural ideal for a man was to be fit, athletic, handsome, well educated, and scholarly. How would that make you feel if you were a short pudgy man with a huge nose and homely face who looked silly in a toga and who… Continue reading How Cultural Ideals Can Stimulate Self-Contempt

Alfred Adler (1870-1937) was a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, and founder of the school of individual psychology. Although he was originally a member of Freud’s inner circle he broke with Freud over unbridgeable differences in theory. One of Adler’s most important ideas was that we create and perpetuate our own misery without knowing how or why. The… Continue reading Alfred Adler’s Way Out of Chronic Misery

Some children have their career chosen by their parents who groom them for it, fully expect them to go into it, and would express shock, grave disappointment, and anger should their child reject it. Well known examples are military officers, doctors, dentists, lawyers, accountants, human resource managers, librarians, small business owners, plumbers, electricians, auto mechanics,… Continue reading The Pre-Set Life vs. The Uncertain Path

Friday Kahlo faced a host of traumas in her life. She had polio as a child. When she was 18 Frida was engaged in pre-med studies and expecting to be a medical doctor. That year, on her way home in a commuter bus, the bus was hit by a trolley car going full speed. Frida… Continue reading What Frida Kahlo Has to Teach Us

During prehistory humans lived in a relatively quiet world free of frequent assaults by noise. Think of a place that was peaceful and punctuated only from noises like the rustling of the wind, babbling brooks, the ocean surf, the growls and cries of animals, thunder, rain, waterfalls, rockfalls, avalanches, and volcanic eruptions. Let’s move to… Continue reading Managing Chronic Stress from Environmental Noise

Insomnia is defined as difficulty getting to sleep, staying asleep or waking up too early with inability to get back to sleep resulting in poor quality, non-refreshing sleep with day-time fatigue. While insomnia can have many causes (including substance abuse, medication side effects, environmental noise, shiftwork, obstructive apnea, and chronic pain), many cases of insomnia… Continue reading How to Manage Insomnia Associated with Depression, Anxiety, Nightmares, and Stress

Are narcissism and empathy ego states or traits? If they are ego states not permanent traits that define individuals, they could fluctuate from time to time depending on changing circumstance. This would explain how one and the same person could sometimes be more concerned with and protective of his own needs, feelings, and interests, while… Continue reading THE NARCISSISTIC – EMPATHIC CONTINUUM

While social bonding in the form of a romantic relationship can contribute greatly to our overall well-being, getting dumped by your significant other often causes intense emotional pain. Studies show this pain goes beyond feeling things like sadness, emptiness, despair, shame, humiliation, anger, and vengefulness. Social rejection actually causes physical pain which can be reduced… Continue reading How to Psychologically Survive Being Dumped

Although there is not a huge amount of research on the somatic effects of a cold shower a day, there is some research indicating it increases endorphins, energy, and immune function. I can say from personal experience that it increases my arousal and alertness beyond what a cup or two of morning coffee provides. A… Continue reading The Health and Emotional Benefits of a Daily Cold Shower

Therapy can get bogged down when preoccupation occurs with small details and the bigger picture gets lost. My clients have often thanked me the most for providing and explaining how to use big concepts developed by major psychological theorists. The biggest Kahuna of them all is Freud’s concept of the unconscious the place where memories… Continue reading Valuable Concepts for Clients to Navigate Their Lives By