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Are narcissism and empathy ego states or traits? If they are ego states not permanent traits that define individuals, they could fluctuate from time to time depending on changing circumstance. This would explain how one and the same person could sometimes be more concerned with and protective of his own needs, feelings, and interests, while… Continue reading THE NARCISSISTIC – EMPATHIC CONTINUUM

While social bonding in the form of a romantic relationship can contribute greatly to our overall well-being, getting dumped by your significant other often causes intense emotional pain. Studies show this pain goes beyond feeling things like sadness, emptiness, despair, shame, humiliation, anger, and vengefulness. Social rejection actually causes physical pain which can be reduced… Continue reading How to Psychologically Survive Being Dumped

Although there is not a huge amount of research on the somatic effects of a cold shower a day, there is some research indicating it increases endorphins, energy, and immune function. I can say from personal experience that it increases my arousal and alertness beyond what a cup or two of morning coffee provides. A… Continue reading The Health and Emotional Benefits of a Daily Cold Shower

Therapy can get bogged down when preoccupation occurs with small details and the bigger picture gets lost. My clients have often thanked me the most for providing and explaining how to use big concepts developed by major psychological theorists. The biggest Kahuna of them all is Freud’s concept of the unconscious the place where memories… Continue reading Valuable Concepts for Clients to Navigate Their Lives By

Some clients go through life blissfully unaware they are not using their precious time in ways that are wise, wholesome or fruitful until struck by a mid-life crisis such as a heart attack, a near-fatal car crash or a sudden episode of depression. Other clients are hyper-aware something must change, like those who grew up… Continue reading Why Scaffolding is Needed for Self-Development

A dynamic that is fairly common which causes unnecessary friction and distress in couples is where one partner becomes highly defensive and verbally counter-attacks the other simply because the other has expressed a preference, suggestion or request. When questioned in therapy why he snaps at his partner and reflecting on it, he might say “I… Continue reading Helping the Argumentative Couple with the Practice of Humility

Going inside is central to activities with the potential to increase presence, awareness, and emotional health, such as meditation and psychotherapy. Buddha spent many thousands of hours meditating to explore the inner workings of his own mind, find the causes of human suffering, and the ways to cure it. Freud, another pioneer, used free association,… Continue reading The Fear of Exploring One’s Inner World: Where it Comes From and How to Release It

Parents and teachers socialize children by using praise to recognize and reward instances where the child’s behavior is considered good, right or socially acceptable. When the child’s behavior is judged bad, wrong or socially inappropriate they will withhold praise and engage in some form of correction, criticism, scolding or punishment. All children want to feel… Continue reading Unlearning the Need for External Validation