Imagine two different marriages. In the first, the couple has a whole plate they handle with care. This couple communicates, cooperates, and compromises well. They show attention, care, reasonableness, and flexibility in their interactions. Each of them perceives that...
People who take responsibility for their lives tend to be active, dynamic, and alive. They create visions and goals for themselves; engage in research, consultation, and planning; and then strive to make happen what they want to happen. They know they can’t...
Clients with intense anxiety engage in worst-case scenario thinking as they ruminate obsessively on “what-ifs.” These ruminations typically occur during unstructured time and bedtime. The best expression of living with what-ifs assaulting the mind is Shel...
Clients at varying stages of life (usually from their early 20s through mid-life) may seek therapy to figure out who they are. Erik Erikson’s view that identity formation should be completed between the ages of 12-18 was overly optimistic. There are a variety of...
Although ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder and it cannot be caused by childhood trauma, living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD in childhood causes significant, and potentially life-long, emotional pain that can be mistaken for CPTSD when an adult seeks counseling...
The number one problem I have experienced with couples in conflict isn’t sex, money or power. It’s communication. The number one complaint about communication is that “when I speak to you, you’re not listening.” What are the ideal...
Clients with serious depression tend to ruminate over how bad they feel most of the time. Many of them imagine that non-depressed people are lucky because they go about their lives feeling good or at least OK. The truth is everyone feels disappointed, discouraged or...
A child who grows up consistently perceiving rejection by his parents and/or schoolmates is likely to feel increasingly excluded, isolated, depressed, and hopeless about connecting with others. Eventually, such a child may conclude there is something wrong with or...
Let’s start by distinguishing compassion from empathy in the context of a helping professional relationship. Compassion is a state of having care and concern for another, listening with presence and receptivity to their story of suffering, understanding and...
Living day to day with major depression is like being in a dark room with the windows shut and the shades drawn. There is no light. Eventually you experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness and can no longer imagine changing the situation. This loss of...
