When a person gets the message from parents that she is not enough many difficulties arise in adulthood, including fear, anxiety, shame, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. A person who feels she is not good enough will hide her true self, seek to discern what others...
ADHD is a serious condition that impairs daily functioning with regard to attention, focus, short-term memory, organization, motivation, task completion, impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, defensiveness, irritability/anger, and relationship skills. It should be...
I have had two client cases recently in which a lifetime coping mechanism was rooted in how a child used his/her room to survive parental chaos. In one case a boy had an alcoholic father who would be angry, violent, and verbally abusive to his son. To stay out of...
When depression strikes so does the inner urge to lay in bed, sleep through the day, call in sick for work, avoid people, and avoid normal activities that have provided you in the past with interest, pleasure, meaning, and social connection. Giving into this urge is...
Imagine two different marriages. In the first, the couple has a whole plate they handle with care. This couple communicates, cooperates, and compromises well. They show attention, care, reasonableness, and flexibility in their interactions. Each of them perceives that...
People who take responsibility for their lives tend to be active, dynamic, and alive. They create visions and goals for themselves; engage in research, consultation, and planning; and then strive to make happen what they want to happen. They know they can’t...
Clients with intense anxiety engage in worst-case scenario thinking as they ruminate obsessively on “what-ifs.” These ruminations typically occur during unstructured time and bedtime. The best expression of living with what-ifs assaulting the mind is Shel...
Clients at varying stages of life (usually from their early 20s through mid-life) may seek therapy to figure out who they are. Erik Erikson’s view that identity formation should be completed between the ages of 12-18 was overly optimistic. There are a variety of...
Although ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder and it cannot be caused by childhood trauma, living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD in childhood causes significant, and potentially life-long, emotional pain that can be mistaken for CPTSD when an adult seeks counseling...
The number one problem I have experienced with couples in conflict isn’t sex, money or power. It’s communication. The number one complaint about communication is that “when I speak to you, you’re not listening.” What are the ideal...
