Having done a fair amount of couples counseling I’ve noticed that many couples keep score and react emotionally to being ahead or behind. The score can relate to positive contributions such as grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, watching the...
A client of mine just went on vacation to Hawaii. She reported tremendous enjoyment from floating in the ocean. She also noticed feeling disconnected from the world around her. I assured her this was a good thing to happen in the context of a vacation. I wondered if...
I have a client whose parents were hypercritical, rude, insulting, and discouraging toward him as he grew up. Both parents were unhappy, angry substance addicts. Understandably, this client developed a highly negative self-image. He saw himself as a weird guy who...
There is no greater journey in life than discovering and creating oneself in tandem without the influence of people who think they know who you are and use their influence to make you fit their definition.
An anxious attachment style is when a person has experienced sufficient painful rejections to lack trust that friendships/romances will last and fears rejection to the point where it’s hard for her to fully commit to a relationship. Such a person is...
Before I say anything critical of the slew of self-improvement books one can find at bookstores or on Amazon.com let me acknowledge that in my early 20s, I was a voracious consumer of them who could never get enough. I markedly decreased my reliance of them once I...
When a person gets the message from parents that she is not enough many difficulties arise in adulthood, including fear, anxiety, shame, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. A person who feels she is not good enough will hide her true self, seek to discern what others...
ADHD is a serious condition that impairs daily functioning with regard to attention, focus, short-term memory, organization, motivation, task completion, impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, defensiveness, irritability/anger, and relationship skills. It should be...
I have had two client cases recently in which a lifetime coping mechanism was rooted in how a child used his/her room to survive parental chaos. In one case a boy had an alcoholic father who would be angry, violent, and verbally abusive to his son. To stay out of...
When depression strikes so does the inner urge to lay in bed, sleep through the day, call in sick for work, avoid people, and avoid normal activities that have provided you in the past with interest, pleasure, meaning, and social connection. Giving into this urge is...
