I have a client whose parents were hypercritical, rude, insulting, and discouraging toward him as he grew up. Both parents were unhappy, angry substance addicts. Understandably, this client developed a highly negative self-image. He saw himself as a weird guy who...
There is no greater journey in life than discovering and creating oneself in tandem without the influence of people who think they know who you are and use their influence to make you fit their definition.
An anxious attachment style is when a person has experienced sufficient painful rejections to lack trust that friendships/romances will last and fears rejection to the point where it’s hard for her to fully commit to a relationship. Such a person is...
Before I say anything critical of the slew of self-improvement books one can find at bookstores or on Amazon.com let me acknowledge that in my early 20s, I was a voracious consumer of them who could never get enough. I markedly decreased my reliance of them once I...
When a person gets the message from parents that she is not enough many difficulties arise in adulthood, including fear, anxiety, shame, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. A person who feels she is not good enough will hide her true self, seek to discern what others...
ADHD is a serious condition that impairs daily functioning with regard to attention, focus, short-term memory, organization, motivation, task completion, impulsivity, emotional sensitivity, defensiveness, irritability/anger, and relationship skills. It should be...
I have had two client cases recently in which a lifetime coping mechanism was rooted in how a child used his/her room to survive parental chaos. In one case a boy had an alcoholic father who would be angry, violent, and verbally abusive to his son. To stay out of...
When depression strikes so does the inner urge to lay in bed, sleep through the day, call in sick for work, avoid people, and avoid normal activities that have provided you in the past with interest, pleasure, meaning, and social connection. Giving into this urge is...
Imagine two different marriages. In the first, the couple has a whole plate they handle with care. This couple communicates, cooperates, and compromises well. They show attention, care, reasonableness, and flexibility in their interactions. Each of them perceives that...
People who take responsibility for their lives tend to be active, dynamic, and alive. They create visions and goals for themselves; engage in research, consultation, and planning; and then strive to make happen what they want to happen. They know they can’t...
