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Anxiety can have many different causes including childhood trauma, abuse in adulthood (from a spouse or partner), stress at work, financial stress, near-accidents, injurious accidents, being a crime victim, etc. Once the fight-flight sensations of anxiety begin, from whatever cause, they can become generalized to many situations that seemingly have nothing to do with the… Continue reading Anxiety and the Unpredictability of Crowds

Psychotherapy is still alive and well, but increasingly we have moved to a biological paradigm of depression in which sufferers are encouraged to try antidepressants, mood stabilizers, nutritional therapy with whole foods and supplements, Ketamine infusions, and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. Many psychotherapies used for clients with severe depression are highly structured one-size fits all approaches.… Continue reading An Existential Therapy for Depression That Might Help You

In 1842 Senator Henry Clay coined the term “self-made man” to refer to people who improved themselves and their material circumstances by means of education and hard work. To be self-made meant nobody handed you your success on a silver platter. It meant you deserved it by virtue of your own blood, sweat, and tears.… Continue reading Is George Santos an Outlier or a Harbinger of What it is to be Self-Made in our Society?

In the wonderful sci fi TV show Stark Trek, Star Fleet had a prime directive (PD) binding on Cpt. Kirk, his crew, and everyone else. In the show the PD was never interfere with the natural development of an alien civilization, something Kirk was tempted to do time after time. As a therapist I have discovered… Continue reading Discerning and Dealing with Your Prime Directive

Meaningful social communication between trusted family members, friends, and colleagues involves honest, open emotional sharing. Just as primates bond by physical touch, humans bond by touching each other emotionally. If we were to view emotional sharing on a continuum, one extreme would be locked-in syndrome in which a person is conscious but cannot speak, and… Continue reading Finding the Sweet Spot in Emotional Communication

I have been exposed to New Age coaches who preach that listing at least 5 things you are grateful for at a regular time every day will make you a happier, kinder, and more optimistic person. I have tried gratitude lists and each time I found that before the first week was up I was… Continue reading A Personal Take on the Value of Real Gratitude from a Psychotherapist

Neuroplasticity refers to the ability of the brain to grow new brain cells (neurons) and new cells that support the health of neurons (glia) throughout life. The more neuroplastic the brain the more the can can learn and adapt to life’s ever-changing circumstances. Factors such as advanced age, head injury, and excessive alcohol consumption reduce… Continue reading Neuroplasticity, Stress, and Treatment Resistant Depression

In therapeutic practice one sees adults who perceive themselves as not mattering, being dismissed, and even being invisible. This is a terrible thing to feel and not surprisingly it leads to chronic depression. When and how does this self-perception arise? I have seen two different childhood paths to the same place. In one the child… Continue reading Learn to Stop Feeling Invisible

Hard working professionals of all kinds face the risk of stress overload, exhaustion, and burnout. How do they care for themselves to reduce that risk and build resilience. In many cases they buy a yoga class, a massage, a spa package, a cruise or something like that on a random, infrequent basis. Feeling relief for… Continue reading You Can’t Buy Self-Care. Create Your Own Practice

Every person has one or more trigger words that when spoken aloud activate fight/flight with intense anxiety or freeze with numbness and helplessness. What’s yours? Death? Cancer? Bankruptcy? Homelessness? Betrayal? Divorce? Rejection? Criticism? When you hear your trigger word you can stop the cascade of negative thoughts (catastrophizing) which threaten to take you over the… Continue reading How to Deal Effectively with Your Trigger Words