Carl Rogers used unconditional positive regard (UPR) as a pillar of his psychotherapeutic approach. Rogers defined UPR as caring for the client as a separate person entitled to have his own feeling and experiences. For Rogers UPR was a way of non-judgmentally accepting and valuing the client as a human being without allowing the therapist’s own biases, prejudices, values or opinions to get in the way. UPR worked for Rogers and for many thousands of the therapists who read who his books to be of effective help to their clients. I underwent Rogerian therapy long ago when I was a college student struggling with depression. I found then that having someone in my corner who genuinely cared about me and did not perceive me as defective, broken or inferior helped reduce my depression. What Rogerian therapy did not do for me was help me develop clear, specific goals and a life plan that promised to help me actualize my unique potential. I was able to gain some extra strength and dissolve some of my depression from basking in the warm glow of my Rogerian therapist’s UPC, but I did not develop the clarity to see the real me or the courage to be the real me.
Over the past year I have worked with many adult clients suffering from depression who felt inauthentic and disconnected from their true selves. Little by little I developed my own technique to help them with their depressive symptoms and their need for authenticity. Step number one is to help the client understand why he is so hard on himself and so pessimistic about change. Step two is to help the client develop sufficient self-compassion to forgive himself for the past and have some hope that his life can be worthwhile and rewarding in the future. Step three is to work with the client to explore and articulate what matters most to him and identify what life path would most connect him with this. Step four involves first helping the client see the impediments, obstacles, and challenges he will face as he self-actualizes along with the inner and outer resources he has to overcome those barriers. The other aspect of step four is for me to convey my sincere, unconditional belief that the client has what it takes to reach his goals and will reach them. This is where I depart from Rogers. In my approach the unconditional positive attitude is not expressed by valuing the person as a person. Instead, I am conveying my unconditional belief that the client can and will succeed in making the life changes he wants.
When I use this technique I stand firm on my belief the client will self-actualize but I do not promise or predict any particular outcome. And yet, even so, my palpable confidence in the client’s ability to change in the ways he desires acts like a fuel or propellent to help the client lift off from the sticky mud of depression into a place where he experiences movement and momentum. The amount of movement and momentum that various clients make differs according to factors unique to each client. Some take much longer or shorter than others. Some go farther than others. Yet all of them make progress. The good thing about sharing an unconditional positive belief in your client’s ability to become who he really is and begin a rewarding life, is that it aids the development of hope and eventually self-efficacy.
